Musings with a goal in mind...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Such a tormenting question

 for one as I who wants to be a little bit of everything. I relate so much to Joe in Louisa May Alcott's Little Women. In fact, I have felt much like her my entire of existence as of to date. I've always wanted to write and draw. I've always had this craving inside to help others (even while I maintain a mess). I love to decorate and create. From the time of a young girl I have always desired a little shop filled with inspiring things to fill your home with or give as a gift. But when I have come so close to making that a reality, I withdraw and decline. Countless times I have had papers in hand, ready to sign a small lease for a humble space I could decorate, sell pretty things in, create in and truly enjoy. But hesitate I always do.

What is it that keeps me from 

grabbing hold of this little accomplishment to be?

This desire of mine to make all things beautiful has been misplaced. Rather than continually trying to "fix" all that may surround me, my true heart beat is to mend the hearts of those left broken. To make them beautiful.

That there is it. Finding the beauty in each ones hurt, pain, weakness, broken, sad, alone...emotions. 

Because while many find themselves engulfed in situations holding bags of said emotions, mending the hearts is what I desire. That is the beauty I have been searching for.

Yesterday morning as I sat among some very beautiful women something amazing happened. As I sat there listening to the wisdom and insight one in particular had, my thoughts drifted off and I was inspired. Though decades apart in age, I could see myself in her eyes. The similarities were ever so vivid.

I finally know what I want to be when I grow up!

Everything makes perfect sense now. Streaming all the way down from childhood to where I sit today. The difficulties and experience have gained at such a young age thus far have literally brought me to this revelation. 

The capabilities, gifts and traits God has given have equipped me for what I am supposed to do. 

It all makes such wonderful sense now. I'm running towards it!

"It's never too late to be who you were meant to be..."

Since I turned 18 I have been tormented with the very question I opened this post up with: "What do I want to be when I grow up?" 

How can one apply all their favorite interests and hearts desire into a single occupation? I don't want to muddle through this life excepting any lack there of. 

I have an amazing intelligent husband and three wonderful children. They are my all. But as I say this, my heart skips to pause, because deep within me lies the desire to do more. I find myself discontent with such a strong sense of longing to do something. More for others, those in need, those requiring comfort.

If at this very much not young age is when I am to begin this journey I know God has been preparing my heart for... than so it shall be. 

Because if these hurdles having been jumped over, mountains climbed, valleys been sought through and peaks reached, are what it took to have reached to this point in my life, then it was worth it.

Yesterday morning I was searching still. On the brink I could sense, but not yet there.

Today I am certain. Finally I can say what it is I want to be when I grow up!

Faithful is he always. Grateful am I.

So, if you find yourself wrestling with the same nagging ever present question...keep praying and continue searching. He will tell you in His perfect setting. 

Ironic I found mine in a coffee shop discussing mentoring and young women. Looking back,  I can truly say my place in this life has been staring at me for nearly two years now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you are serious about finding your mark, than here might be some ideas to ponder.

1. Make a list of your special talents

2. Write out your interests/hobbies

3. write down what you wish you could do (despite hindrance)

4. think then jot down common compliments friends & or relatives  sometimes comment on about yourself

5. Ask yourself what are some issues in the world that set your fire a blaze

5. Who inspires you, what is it they do for a living?

6. ask yourself these questions:

among a group setting are you most likely to:

~sit and listen and enjoy the atmosphere

~observe people

~be the center of attention

~host and run the show

~just simply enjoy the company of friends/family

~judge with criticism (don't worry, you may do this for a good unknown, yet, reason!)

~searching for commonality

~hungry for insight

If you answer any of these questions pertaining to some methods of personality norms among any typical group setting, take it and dwell on it. 

Ask yourself why? Try to meditate on the why? 

Because it is often in ''why's'' we find solace. 

Why does your heart beat to certain rhythm? 

When we find what it is we have been searching for something inside ignites. 

Go after what ever it is that your heart longs for. God has amazing plans for us. What a shame to let life pass you by without discovering it right along side of God. 

Who indeed created us each beautifully and wonderfully.

What ever your story is, God loves you. God wants the best of you even and especially in your worst. Lift your head whether filled with tears and suffering or joy and happiness. Complete are we not. Continue seeking Him in all you do and the mysteries of our heart will unfold as treasures from Him.

Wishing you all a wonderful sunny spring day from Montana!bye