The Many Loves of Home school
Since our oldest was soon to begin his kindergarten year I have always gleamed to the enchanting and daunting idea of home school.
Months before the academic year was to begin as I held on tight to the remaining weeks of just he and I home together, I wrestled with this concept. I researched the reality of school taught from within the walls of home and me the teacher. I feel blessed that teaching comes in neck and neck with discernment on my Spiritual Gifts List http://www.churchgrowth.org/cgi-cg/gifts.cgi?intro=1
But while that may be so, convinced I can succeed, I am not. These are my precious children that God has given me the pleasure of raising to His likeness. He has entrusted my husband and I to raise each child according to their own bent.
This parenting book is a gem! Charles Swindoll explains the bent (God given personality) each of our children possess and the importance of balancing their natural bent. The importance of enriching that bent instead of breaking it.
I am absolutely pleased with the public school in which two of my three children attend. In fact, I love it. But where I grow concerned is when my children fall behind in understanding concepts. Hours spent burning midnight oil bent over the table instilling fractions and division. To some this comes so easy but for other's this does not. Grasping the fast paced lessons can be difficult for children. It was mind bending for me as a young girl. When I would finally connect with the understanding dynamics of a particular math (for example) lesson, off we'd move to another. While still reeling in the last concept. Too ashamed to raise my hand and ask for additional help, I would slip through the cracks and endure. I am finding as each semester passes, this seems to be the case for my oldest. It is reaching the point of an outside tutor. Ashamed are we my husband with the masters in accounting and I the mother, can't seem to help enough. The limited hours after the school/work day hindered with interruption, exhaustion
and busy-ness of life.
Sometimes I feel as though I could get a lot more instilled and accomplished if I had him all day under my advisement. Sometimes I feel as his mother and fully understanding his diverse learning capabilities, I could possibly help his ability to achieve. Couldn't I?
I see his self esteem tarnishing due to the lack of understanding math concepts that others (in his eyes) seem to take hold and flourish. I see his face fall to the floor when his tests grades suffer and his homework marks fail.
Perhaps an outside tutor would be our answer. I'm looking in to it. Ahh, the many loves of parenting.
But my heartbeat goes far past the learning difficulties.
My heart beats towards the relationship aspect of my children. Where do children develop their ability to converse and listen?
The simplicity of childhood. My parents learned to read from these books. I have always enjoyed sharing these timeless treasures to my own children.
To me homeschooling means focusing on academics essential, but developing lasting qualities that focus on healthy relationship. I only have my children at home once. Preparing them to leave our nest is crucial. Teaching them the tools they will need to succeed in this life is vital. Today is not what it was ten years ago. Each passing year moves farther away from God's principals. Society's norms are falling fast from ideal. There are so many factors enticing me to "keep them close".
As the vine of His spirit we are not effective if sheltered from the world. Kept from the ability to help, provide, aide, love others. Other's who find themselves destitute or others who are left incapable of management over their situations.
There have been countless times my children have encountered lessons worth wading through. Times when flooded with feelings of "They have therefore I want...". Emotions of inadequacy because other's have risen while they remained.
I tell them to stay encouraged because these instances will find them in every season of life.
They will feel insecure now, the tweens, the teenage years, early adulthood....all the way till they are 90.
No amount of sheltering will keep that from becoming so.
We are made of flesh here on Earth and will always fall short to the sadness of this world. But by keeping God's promises in our hearts, we can learn how to overcome gracefully such circumstances and grow stronger in heart with His guiding love.
These are just the ideas of what Homeschooling may mean to me. In no way am I down cast on outside schooling! This is no attempt to sway or pressure anyone into rethinking their own personal decision for their family. I am torn right now. Therefore I am asking for any insight. My youngest and last is nearing the end of her days home with me. She will be set to begin her kindergarten days in the fall. My heart quickens as I realize how fast my only children are growing. Perhaps this idea of homeschooling is just my subconscious grasping to the youth of my children and the time spent under my roof vastly whizzing by.
Do I trust and just "hope for the best" that these years spending the majority of their time and days away from home suffice?
Am I to spend time on my knees praying for protection, ability, understanding, and such a long list of more over my children?
While so many have "made" it out of the school years just fine with little marks, that is not always the case. I was terribly outcast and physically tormented in my youth. I would skip school days to avoid being beat up. I would spend my lunch room days alone trying to avoid any of the several girls who enjoyed teasing and and taunting me. I would reject many dances because there I knew was ample opportunity for trouble. I was jumped on my 15th birthday while attempting to get on the school bus. Teacher's never stood up for me and ignored my black eyes and pulled hair.
Maybe these anxious feelings I have adhered, stems from my own school days. Well, let's be fair...it does. But it was very real. It captivated me significantly and hindered my self esteem in early adulthood. Paranoid that everyone hated me before they even met me. Because that was what I experienced emotionally in school.
Today lives a harsher reality. I don't want to subject my own children to such antagonism and pain I was forced to endure.
This life is not made of cotton candy and fluffy white clouds. This life is and can be extremely cruel. For those who experienced wonderful bliss and amazement in your growing up years than how wonderfully happy am I. But believe me when I say, you were very lucky. Because more often times than not, such easy going is not the case.
I admit I wish these were the days of Mayberry. Screen doors slapping, coca~cola in bottles, front porch sitten, banana splits and cars for a nickel.
But God chose these days for me. He chose this generation of potato chips and entitlement ego's for me to muddle around with. So careful not to lose sight of His path laid out, I embrace the gifts and grace. Happily allowing myself to be entangled in The Many Loves of Parenting.
