In her dreams...

There's happiness. Happiness with her heart. Happiness in her heart. In her dreams the struggle is of no longer. These dreams bring simple pleasures. Instead of searching and longing for the grace given gratitude she has been fed to seek, she is well in her own. Her gratitude for all things beautiful  swells within the depths of her starved soul. 

In her dreams... no longer are her days dependent upon the ever ceasing battle to find love in the flesh. No longer are her days a down fall of tears. No longer are her days wasted by endless search for anything kind, anything beautiful, anything worth the very torment that drains the life from her fingertips.

In her dreams... she doesn't need to hear affirmations because she will already know he loves her. The wonderment won't exist. Assurance will gleam to the light of each new day. Joy will hold tight as the sun sets each night.

When she wakes up from these dreams she sees hate and feels pain. She lays her head down on the pillow and closes her eyes. She doesn't want to wake up. She wants to remain in cosmic imagination escaping this thing she calls reality. Her life. 

Heaviness is all she bears as she awakes each morning. Floating from each obligation to the next. She spends any spare moment lost in her dreams. She sees the clutch of their hands. She remembers the warm embrace. She sails down the long winding road of lost times. 

Her dreams fall to a shatter as she stares into the reflection hanging on the cold wall. Who is this young woman? This dreamer with sad green eyes? She who bears scars not seen from outside but hidden deep within her broken heart. Deep within the traps of her mind. Hidden from world, living a lie. A lie. 

Years reflect on her porcelain skin as she runs her fingers across her cheeks catching the tears. Falling again like rain, she hides from the world. Understanding are they not for they do not live their days broken. Broken into emptiness. Expected to remain.

She suffocates as the list is reread. She dies a bit more as sits upon the edge of the chair absorbing his cruel tongue. She picks herself up from the self beaten floor and smiles. This ever smile in vain. A lie...again. A decade of lies. A decade of hope.

She slips away later as she closes her eyes and dreams of what may be.  In moments dashed are her dreams, once more. 

Hope is tarnished as it drifts from each morning into night. Hope is vanished as each sunrise lifts away her some days. 

She travels the familiar path up steep hills and down through green valleys. Passing along the same old weathered houses, same corral of country horses, same dots on the map until she reaches her freedom. 

Memories flood yet never fail. Her daddy's ever present presence never ceases. The burden falls crashing to the ground as she steps from the car. Her heart feels light and her mind finds clarity. The pressures of this endless battle stand still at the mountain border. 

Her dreams find height. Not so far away are they now. Her eyes remain open as she shakes hands with unfamiliar circumstances. Alone she may be, happiness finds attainable. She walks through the red door and closes it behind her. She stands hands to her side, looking at what seems not real. Eyes once closed open to the rays of sunlight peaking through the curtains. She smiles. Pausing for a moment, it dawns on her. Those dreams once seemed hopeless saunter amid the days break. Her dreams are here. She reaches out. 

Later that evening she sighs, as she heads down the long straight road leaving the nights celebration in the sky, and says aloud..."This was indeed a good Independence Day."